Pokemon: A Musical Journey
by Moonlightning Was Taken
Summary: Max. A fat, acne-ridden teenager seeks happiness in the cold hearted world of Pokemon Training. As enemies conspire about him, he needs to act quickly or risk losing what he holds most dear, forever. Or some crap like that, it's a comedy.


Max's Pokemon Adventure

Chapter One: Right Under Their Noses

"Hey Max, I thought of the title of your biography; _Failed Abortion_!"

Max rolled his eyes and slammed his door so his Mum couldn't't insult him any further. He closed his thick curtains so the room was completely dark, and started listening to some of his favourite music through his trademark golden headphones.

Eventually, the morning came, like it did every other day. I don't even know why I made note of it. Anyway, Max brushed his emo fringe aside and sat up in bed, being blinded by the bright sun.

His Mum was standing over his bed, her face filled with glee .

"Time to get up son if you can cause use you're _so _fat." She laughed before prancing out the room humming the tune to Mary Had A Little Mareep.

He ignored her and began to get dressed, today was the day he could finally leave home. He could leave his mother who constantly insulted him, leave his rich archaeologist dad who never paid any attention to him and go into the world and share his music.

He got dressed, in his band uniform. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the words "Max Elixer" printed on the front in bold white writing. On the back someone had stuck a "wide load" sign, but nobody had pointed it out to him and his mum never washed his clothes.

"Max, clean your filthy acne ridden face and clean your teeth dear!" his mother cried as she ran down to her room and popped some more "happy pills."

The fat, albino, pimply, music loving boy pit his backpack on and was about to leave when he heard a rich voice calling him…

Well, if it was a rich voice, it wasn't his Mum. In fact, turning around, it was obvious his mother had lit the house on fire, or at least, Max's room. It couldn't have been the mailman, Jeff, because Jeff had a very effeminate voice that he used to show other men he was homosexual. That left only one person who would call his name out:

"Son!" it was his rich archaeologist Dad who never paid any attention to him.

"Hi Dad." Max said, feeling awkward.

"Which one are you?" rich archaeologist Dad asked.

Max looked down. Dad sure had lots of friends. A large majority of them were women. Most of those women had large breasts. And Dad's kids.

"I'm Max." I sighed, looking away.

Dad knelt down on one knee, looking up at Max. Max was about to point out that Dad's can't marry their sons, it would be gay (Jeff would approve), it would be cheating on Mum and Dad had his fly undone when he took out a Poke' Ball and gave it to me.

"I know how interested you are in archaeology Max, so-" he began.

"Dad, I like music." I said, rolling my eyes beneath an overhanging hair monstrosity.

"No son, you like archaeology." he assured me. "Anyway, I heard you were starting your journey and I found this Pokemon at an archaeological site, they're quite rare, you can have it."

Max looked at the Poke' Ball. What is the worst it could be?

"Go." Max said, with an apparent lack of enthusiasm

What appeared seemed to be a rock with a large red nose. And that is exactly what it was.

"Dad, that's a Nosepass. They aren't rare, they live at the dump and never move. They are a messed up fusion of a compass and a nose. I hate Nosepass,"

"Well that's too bag sonny." Dad said, showing off his gleaming white rich archaologist teeth, "because I told Professor Oak I had it all sorted out and not to give you a starter."

"But Dad?" Max gasped. "I've been dreaming of getting a Charmander ever since-"

"And now you have a Nosepass!" Dad announced. "Even better!"

The pasty, loser of a boy returned his unmoving rock type Pokemon and left his Dad, heading up the gentle slope of Route One. He had only been walking for a few minutes when he breath began to labour, and he had a short snack on some Snickers bars while he sat on the road.

"Hey fat ass!" a voice yelled.

"Mum?" Max said confused.

"It's me, your flawlessly beautiful rival!" the girl said, twisting on the spot in a flash of blonde hair, blue eyes, short red skirt, long pulled up socks, small grey shoes, light green cardigan over a yellow singlet and a smirk on her face.

"Hi, I'm Max."

"Guess what Max. I'm Mary." She didn't give him any chance to guess what, he probably wouldn't have got it any way, it was kind of a waste of time. "And you think you're cool, but you're actually not! You're actually gay!"

Her laugh sounded like crystal falling against a high hat as she skipped off, in perfect tempo.

Max stormed off, as fast as his short chubby legs would carry him down the hill to the Pallet Town Pokemon Lab, to hopefully obtain a decent starter.

The self absorbed, fat slob entered the sliding door marvelling in awe at the amazing facility he was in. It was a simple wooden building with glass windows and as I mentioned before, a sliding door. Occasionally the sliding door would jam and a repairman would have to come in, but being the only door in the building it was difficult for him to get inside.

"Get a load of this." A stereotypical nerdy aide said as Max moved to the top part of the lab.

"Hey guys," Professor Oak whispered, "watch and learn."

The grey haired man stood up and called to Max, "saywhatifyou'reafatstupidpieceofcrap!"

"What?" Max said confused.

The aides and Oak all started laughing and patting each other on the back. Max turned around and went to leave, but the door had jammed.

Professor Oak, his face red from laughed gasped and said, "he can't fit out the door!"

They all rolled around on the ground in an over the top fashion, a few of them had tears coming from their eyes. They beat the floor with their fists as their hyena-like laughter continued. Max just put his headphones on and put one of his favourite songs on.

"Go, Nosepass, lets pick up the tempo!" Max said.

His Pokemon appeared, motionless as ever. He took his electric guitar off his back and connected its lead into Nosepass's nose. The Pokemon seemed to shudder when it was connected, then it stayed still.

The nerd herd and Oak stopped laughing, looking concerned.. Max fiddled with a few dials on his guitar, and when he was ready, he took off his headphones. Suddenly the room was silent, the Hispanic repairman outside looked confused.

He strummed a G minor chord, Nosepass vibrated so fiercely, the sound wave erupted from it, scorching the ground and sending tables and machines flying, all the glass in the building was blasted outward, shattering and raining down on the rest of the town.

Max took four steps forward, facing away from the building as it collapsed in a great crash, the stunted pieces of wood and machinery lying in a awkward heap. Behind him there was a small noise.

"Nose…"

The compass, nose… thing hopped toward the genetically unfortunate boy and waved two armlike pieces of rock around in approval. The two pits in its rocky body held two eyes that radiated happiness. Apparently the Pokemon liked being used as an amp.

Max sighed and returned his Pokemon, it disappeared into his Poke' Ball. He slung his guitar over his shoulder and walked as fast as his pasty flabby legs would carry him. Just as he got to Route One, another trainer stopped him.

"Hi!" he said, his eyes looked too big.

"Oh, hi…" Max said, trying not to start a conversation.

"Let's battle! It's always been my dream to be a great Pokemon trainer, I think if we battle now, we can evaluate our battle strategies and become better together! We'll also learn more about each other and our Pokemon!" he finally finished.

"Go, Nosepass!" Max grimaced as he said the name of the unappealing Pokemon.

It appeared, motionless as always.

"Go… Jewel!" the boy yelled.

An incredibly clichéd Eevee appeared, in a dazzling aurora of brilliantly sparkly and glittering sparkles that illuminated on the Pokemon's white sparkling fur. The Pokemon readied its small sparkling body and bent all of its sparkly legs.

"Eevee, Headbutt!" the boy yelled.

The small and incredibly kawaii Pokemon charged forward and smashed its head into the defending Nosepass. There was a loud crunch as the Eevee's thin skull collapsed in on itself. The Pokemon's brain was severely damaged, it just started twitching as thick blood poured out its mouth and eyes.

Max walked off, giving a certain one figured gesture to the boy fussing over the injured Eevee.


End file.
